Is it possible to be a good supervisor to someone you would avoid eating lunch with? Absolutely. However, that doesn’t mean you won’t dread working with them or dealing with them on a regular basis. Here are our 5 ways to stop hating your team!
#1: Check your Bias at the Door & Develop your Diplomatic Poker Face
Check your bias:
Sometimes our biggest problem is ourselves. As a supervisor, it’s your job to make sure your team is working in top gear to complete a collaborative goal.
What happens when we have a problem child?
It’s so easy to see the caller ID and just cringe in pain. You don’t get that luxury anymore. As supervisors, we have to overcome our personal feelings to make sure our jobs are being accomplished.
Say your problem child is someone who’s a little offensive in what they say. A great way to handle this when you’re starting to recognize an internal emotional pattern is to ask yourself, “If anyone else said this to me would I be annoyed?”
Check your bias. It’ll help you to take the person out of the problem and help you to do your job effectively.
Diplomatic poker face:
Reduce internal competition and develop your diplomatic poker face.
“If you don’t own that you dislike someone, it’s going to come out in other ways,” said Lolly Daskal, founder of consulting firm Lead From Within and author of “The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness.”
I personally am an open book when it comes to my facial expressions and I had to really work on developing this technique.
If you show your disdain for someone they and your team are going to recognize it. Instant drama that you’re going to have to deal with later. But, this doesn’t just go for your team either. If there’s a higher-up that you do this to your team will automatically flag them as the bad guy.
There is also this thing called the mirror effect. What you show is what your team mirrors. If you show a look of anger towards one team member and not the other your team is going to subconsciously mirror this.
Cut down on the drama. Don’t show your bias and your team will follow your lead.
#2: Hire People you Respect, Not Necessarily People You Like
It’s so easy to gravitate toward potential candidates that you connect well with. You want to have a strong team dynamic, but there can be harm in this when you have cross-team collaboration.
This was one of my first major supervisor mistakes. I hired a team that I felt a great connection with. A Team I knew I would work well with, but what was missing were differing opinions and approaches. It was like I copy-pasted myself three times over, but you want those different personalities.
How does this help you to not hate your team? Don’t make it easy for yourself as a supervisor – make a strong team. If you have a strong team you’re going to be able to rely on them more and ultimately be happier in your supervisor position.
However, we know that sometimes the smartest people are the most difficult to work with. “People liking each other is not a necessary component to organizational success,” says Ben Dattner, an organizational psychologist and author of The Blame Game.
And when you have that difficult team member and you hear, “Why did you hire that guy?” You better have something to back it up. You and your team have to have a fundamental belief that someone has something valuable to contribute in order to cohesively work together.
So, when that happens remind them and show them your tips for overcoming that frustration. Or, evaluate yourself on how that person’s contributions matter.
#3: Spend More Time Together
I could hear your eye roll from here! I know I know. You Hate your team. Why in the world would you want to spend more time together?
There’s trust in adversity.
When you accomplish hard things with someone you learn a lot about each other. It’s in these tasks that you begin to develop more camaraderie even if you don’t really like spending time with them. You’ll start to appreciate what they bring to the table.
#4:Change your Perspective
The goal is to stop hating your team. To do that we have to focus on what is triggering those negative emotions.
We want to be able to change our perspective so that we no longer get an emotional reaction from our team. Especially in the moment. For example when this happens (video below)…
Instead of, “OH my Gosh I have such an incompetent team” turn it into “I’m so glad my team trusts me with their mistakes”. By changing your perspective you’re going to have an easier time changing your emotions. Caution though – you may start to like your team.
#5: Communication!
Alright, so after trying tips 1-4 you still may have some unresolved frustrations. Now it’s time for self-reflection, team analysis, and error reporting to really pinpoint what the issue is. As the video above declares – it’s your job to help put out fires and resolve conflict.
So why are you struggling and feeling so frustrated? Why do some interactions get under your skin?
Let’s be real: some situations are just plain tough. Maybe you need a new set of skills to handle these challenges with confidence and make your team stronger. That’s where our 6-week Forensic Supervisor Level II Virtual Academy, starting January 2025, can help you shine! In this academy, we’ll cover essentials like:
- Coaching and Developing Your Employees – Learn how to grow a team you’re proud to lead
- Conflict Resolution – Find out how to turn team friction into fuel for growth
- Time Management – Because who doesn’t want more hours in their day?
- Communicating with Your Chain of Command – Keep things crystal clear with the higher-ups
- Grant Funding and Budget Management – Get the resources your team needs to succeed.
NOTE: Seats are limited to 35 students, so don’t miss your chance to register today! This academy is built specifically for forensic supervisors like you, ready to tackle challenges and take your leadership skills to the next level.
If it’s constantly a team member that just sparks your anger: provide feedback.
And make sure this isn’t toxic feedback. For example…
“It really pisses me off when you don’t put your equipment in the right spot.” That’s a toxic approach. Should this employee put the equipment in the right spot? Yes. Does this cause you a lot of headaches? Yes.
Let’s flip the script though. “Hey Joe, listen we’ve been having a hard time finding certain pieces of equipment as of late. Can you try to make sure that we’re putting equipment back in the right spots? Thanks. I’ve already talked to everyone else about it and everyone agreed we’re going to try to hold each other accountable. Let me know if there are any improvements I can make to help us stay organized.”
Then watch and see if the task gets resolved.
Hope you enjoyed our quick tips to stop hating your team. Make sure you check back next week for more forensic supervisor help.
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